TameBear: Blogging 24

Sat, 17 Jan 2009 20:20:14 GMT

To Blog 24 Or Not...: My plan, of course, was to track the Jack Bauer "24" body count as each episode transpires, to quantify how much death, damage and mayhem the heroic CTU counter-terrorism agent is able to execute over the entire "24 hours" of this season. What I have come to recognize, however, after the first four hours of watching, is that I am not the same Bear I was back in late 2003 when I first blogged the 24 body count. What has changed? In a word: non-violence. Read on to discover why The Bear is rethinking this Blogging 24 thing. [TameBear Weblog]

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 15:45:49 GMT

Blogging 24 ("The Original Jack Bauer Blog") Goes LIVE Again with Season 7: Seems that blogging about this popular Fox TV show has become very popular since The Bear first live-blogged it way back in 2002-2003 during it's second season. Numerous other "24" blogs have popped up since then, and even syndicated columnist Dave Berry is getting in on the fun. After observing how lethal the fed's top counterterror agent was in Season 1, The Bear's focus in the original blog was on the body count: how many people would Jack Bauer kill in a 24-hour period? For the record, our official count in Season 2 was 32. This time around, we will again be tracking the body count and little else. If you want plot summaries, a story arc synopsis, interviews with the stars etc. you can find it on all the TV listing sites, news sites, and even on NPR for gods dang. Here in the mortal magic notebook all we care about is the kills. [TameBear Weblog]

Tue, 02 Dec 2003 12:01:26 GMT

Wisdom Road: It should come as no surprise to regular readers that The Bear believes Microsoft Windows and other Microsoft products are not a wise choice for intelligent computer users. It is the world's most insecure bug-ridden software with the poorest support for global open standards of networking and document interoperability, shipped on generally inferior computing hardware, and featuring truly lousy plug-and-play capability with other hardware add-ons. The main attraction is the entry price... but the true price paid is in countless hours of troubleshooting, virus infections, spyware, downtime, software reinstalls, crashes, total system meltdowns, and premature obsolescence. If you're a true command-line computer geek and like tinkering, go with Linux instead -- it will be a lot more fun. But if you want to be more productive (small biz owners take note) on a relatively trouble-free platform that embraces true open networking while providing great security from outside mischief, with a graphical windowing interface that is truly a pleasure to use -- go with Apple Macintosh desktops, portables and servers. A variety of options fit your needs: eMacs, iMacs, iBooks, PowerBooks, and G5 Towers with big brilliant flat screens. Sure, they cost a bit more -- and they're worth it for all of the hassle and grief you'll avoid by ditching Microsoft Windows.

Wed, 21 May 2003 02:00:46 GMT

This day ends with the President down. After a fine Presidential speech, calming the populace and bringing order once again to the kingdom, a lone terrorist betrays President Palmer with a handshake, and a fast-acting biological. Season over, close curtain.

Wed, 21 May 2003 01:45:24 GMT

15 minutes left... It's one long day, and the rich oil barons aren't ready to give up so easily. They have one more plan to play out. Tame has only one remaining question: will Jack Bauer live to kill again?

Wed, 21 May 2003 01:37:35 GMT

It was a pretty quick takedown at the Colluseum, but Jack has it under control, until the massive heart attack finally catches up with him. Current count: 32.

Wed, 21 May 2003 01:34:51 GMT

One thug... two, three, four, five, and six, counting the sniper he took out to begin with.

Wed, 21 May 2003 01:23:44 GMT

Hour 24, 7am-8am: The longest day is coming to a close. At last summary, the Bauer body count was 24, and since then, two more bodies have been added to the count. Current count: 26.

Wed, 14 May 2003 01:22:21 GMT

Hour 23, 6am-7am: Early in this hour, Bauer shoots to wound, but may be responsible for the death of the final link to the falsified Cypress recording -- Alex Hewitt. He falls from an upper story, his head hitting a pipe on the landing. Another one dead; not necessarily one of the good guys (or bad guys?) but perhaps the last chance to stop WWIII.

Wed, 07 May 2003 01:55:14 GMT

It's one thing to do the killing all in a day's work. Now Jack's talked his daughter into doing it. This was pointless. Kim pulled the trigger, but -- no doubt about it -- this one counts against Jack.

Wed, 07 May 2003 01:13:06 GMT

Hour 22 5am-6am: Subversive! This week's plot twist has Kingsley -- the wealthy kingpin head of an oil company -- instigating U.S. war on the Middle East in order to spike oil prices. Why does this sound so familiar... ?

Wed, 23 Apr 2003 03:03:19 GMT

Body Count: The Bear was surprised to discover that is has been nearly two months since we last summarized the official Bauer body count. Quite a lot has happened in the intervening hours. since the 5pm-6pm hour of 24. Let's review. Previous official body count was 12. Unofficially the number could be as high as 47. Since then, lots of mayhem has ensued, though we must applaude Jack's restraint between the hours of 5pm and 1am in which he killed absolutely ZERO people. That respite comes to a close in Hour 18 when Jack teams up with the seventh Coral Snake, and they shoot their way out of a blind ally somewhere on the seedy side of L.A. We don't know who these shadow guns are, but before the dust settles Jack nails seven of them. Official count: 19. Then in Hour 19 Jack knocks off one more Man In Black before they take him with a taser. Official count: 20. Within the hour, Jack has been tortured to the edge of death -- flatlined even -- but is somehow revived. Whereupon he toasts three of the thugs who were holding him captive. Official count: 23. And as tonight's episode comes to a close, Bauer adds one more to the count when he sweeps in to rescue Kate from the jerks who beat good-guy Yusef to death. Official count: 24. All in a day's work. Unofficially... Count the misguided muslim in Hour 11 who immolates himself to throw Jack off the trail of Sayed Ali. Jack delivers the bomb to Death Valley, and George Mason takes the final stretch. But Mason was going to die anyway, so we shouldn't add him to the body count. But what about the estimated "few" campers and hermits that were probably out there at ground zero. (For the sake of counting, let's call it 8 - imagine a family of five in a broken down RV, plus a pair of jailbirds in flight from the law, plus a genuine mystic, vaporized in prayer.) Unofficial body count stands at 56.

Wed, 23 Apr 2003 01:57:39 GMT

Someone else has been close to Jack, perhaps too long. Kate Warner should consider herself lucky; but her luck may be running out. The jerks who beat Yusef to a pulp took Kate to her house with the hope of exchanging The Chip for money. Jack to the rescue! He offs another bad guy, and has the other two holed up in a back bedroom as this hour draws to a close. Four episodes left!

Wed, 23 Apr 2003 01:47:23 GMT

Yusef is attacked by a rogue band of anti-middle-easterners and is beaten beyond help. He manages to hang in until Jack finds him, to pass on a clue regarding The Chip before he finally expires. Jack is truly sorry... was it his fault that Yusef meets his end after just a couple brief hours in Jack's company? If you ask the Bear, this guy is not safe to be around, whether you are friend or foe.

Wed, 23 Apr 2003 01:39:00 GMT

Hour 20, 3am-4am: It is now clear that a sizable contingent of wealthy conspirators with a cohort of bad news boys is out to destroy the U.S, by igniting war with several mideast countries. Three of the thugs had captured Jack in order to extract information on The Chip, by way of some pretty heavy torture. Nothing that Bauer couldn't handle. He conspires with a lowly resident doctor, drafted into the torture effort. Within seconds, the thugs are dead bacon. Rack up another three to the Bauer body count.

Wed, 16 Apr 2003 01:46:45 GMT

Looks like a palace coup. The President's main man Mike is siding with the Vice President in a cabinet move to declare Palmer incompetent. They really want to see this surprise attack on the middle eastern nations go through. Their rationale: it will save 20,000-25,000 in American military casualties.

Wed, 16 Apr 2003 01:37:22 GMT

Sword in his side -- classic Jesus figure. Jack is gonna get worked over pretty bad unless he can figure his way out of this one. Back at CTU, Tony and Michelle are kissing and making up.

Wed, 16 Apr 2003 01:27:04 GMT

Oh golly, more gruesome torture. And it looks like this distinguished older man with the goatee, who flies his private helicopter well below legal airspace over a major metropolitan downtown, is the big cheese.

Wed, 16 Apr 2003 01:17:48 GMT

Jack takes down one more Man In Black before they tag him with a taser. Up the count one unit.

Wed, 16 Apr 2003 01:15:08 GMT

Way To Go, Mr. President. Palmer is calling off the surprise military strike. Looks like he'll hold WW3 at bay for at least a little longer.

Wed, 16 Apr 2003 01:00:10 GMT

Hour 19, 2am-3am: Once again, viewer discretion is advised. Last time it was because of a fairly gruesome torture scene. This time...?

Wed, 09 Apr 2003 01:29:56 GMT

The shootout continues. Nine baddies have Jack, Yusef, Kate and the Delta locked down in an alley, and they've got to blast their way out. After -like- five episodes, Bauer is finally getting back to the stuff he does best... murder and mayhem. The Bear counts four taken out by Jack's heavy metal. By the time CTU gets wind of the showdown, four of the nine are down -- all counted to Jack.

Wed, 09 Apr 2003 01:09:57 GMT

Hour 18, 1am-2am: Episode starts with a gunfight -- add three more to Bauer's kill count. We don't know who they are, but they sure want Jack dead.

Wed, 02 Apr 2003 02:25:28 GMT

Hour 17, 12am-1am: Does Bauer always carry this kind of weaponry in the trunk of his car? The seventh Delta is going AWOL, and needs Kate Warner to buy him a charter flight out of the country. Looks like Jack is going to play along.

Wed, 26 Mar 2003 02:45:37 GMT

Aha! The seventh Delta snake makes the scene, claiming to have all the evidence Jack needs to prove the conspiracy tape false. But in exchange, he wants Kate Warner. Why?

Wed, 26 Mar 2003 02:38:16 GMT

It looked like Bauer's freelance CTU work had reached a conclusion. The bomb was detonated in the desert, Los Angeles was spared, case closed. Right? Now it looks like Jack has been given a couple more hours to track down evidence that there was no consipiracy among countries to attack the U.S.

Wed, 26 Mar 2003 02:26:38 GMT

Sayed Ali is dead -- shot by a sniper as he was being transferred from CTU. His last words to Jack were that there is no conspiracy with other countries to instigate war with the U.S.

Wed, 26 Mar 2003 02:20:33 GMT

Now we learn that the terrorist, Sayed Ali, was possibly working in concert with three other countries to nuke the greater Los Angeles metropolitan area. Palmer is immediately moving to make war on these unnamed countries, marshalling the war departments and soliciting a Declaration of War from congress.

Wed, 26 Mar 2003 02:13:16 GMT

Hour 16, 11pm-12am: Previously on 24... the bomb went off. George Mason flew it down to the western desert, standing in for Jack Bauer who originally volunteered -- goodbye George. Last week's episode was a real heart-wringer. Jack and his daughter Kim said their goodbyes. And then at the last possible moment, George shows up, a stowaway on the little plane. He talks Jack into bailing with a parachute. And the show goes on.

Wed, 26 Feb 2003 02:29:14 GMT

Goodbye George Mason. Poor George, he's a goner - a lethal dose of radiation takes its toll.

Wed, 26 Feb 2003 02:18:44 GMT

Hour 14, 9pm-10pm: Maybe somebody should be keeping a body count on little Marie. Frankly, the Bear thinks FOX is onto the Bauer body count watch, and is trying to play it cool with fewer kills. Could it be our blog is giving them the willies?

Wed, 19 Feb 2003 02:24:47 GMT

Poor George. His skin is now starting to crack open and bleed. Lethal radiation exposure is not a pretty way to die.

Wed, 19 Feb 2003 02:19:08 GMT

Looks like the terrorists got to Col. Samuels' paramilitaries before Jack could. Six "Coral Snakes," all dead.

Wed, 19 Feb 2003 02:15:59 GMT

Hour 13, 8pm-9pm: Could be plenty of shooting ahead. The bomb has been located at an L.A. airport, and it's being shadowed by a rogue Pentagon Delta paramilitary unit. Jack and his team are moving in, and expecting hostile fire from their own government.

Wed, 12 Feb 2003 03:02:12 GMT

Tame makes the call. The little guy's execution was staged, and it worked - they extracted the location of the bomb from terrorist Sayed Ali. Maybe he was prepared to die, but he couldn't bear to see his family suffer. So, Jack has made it through two whole hours of the 24 without killing anybody. Going for a personal best? The previews of next week's episode make it look like the bomb goes off early. Don't count on it. We've only just now reached the halfway point in this longest day, and there's sure to be plenty of additonal plot twists and excitement in the weeks ahead.

Wed, 12 Feb 2003 02:41:20 GMT

Jack gave the order, and it looked like Sayed Ali's youngest son was executed moments later. However it was done in a way that could have hidden an off-shot. We won't add this to Jack's body count until we know for sure.

Wed, 12 Feb 2003 02:39:17 GMT

Hour 12, 7pm-8pm: Terrorist Sayed Ali is finally in custody, but the drama continues. Jack Bauer is threatening to take the lives of Ali's family - one person at a time - in order to extract information about the L.A. bomb. So far no one has been executed. Frankly the Bear doubts that Jack really has the cold-blooded will to follow through.

Sun, 09 Feb 2003 23:37:57 GMT

Hour 11, 6pm-7pm: Not much happening with Jack Bauer this episode as he stakes out a mosque, hoping to take Sayed Ali alive. For the moment the bad guy manages to escape apprehension, with the aid of a fellow worshiper who stages a clever diversion by setting himself on fire. Can Jack possibly be held responsible for this latest fiery death scene?

Sun, 09 Feb 2003 23:31:17 GMT

American Idol. One word: STUPID. We had to wait through a few weeks of that trash before twentyfour returned again as our USUALLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING. The big surprise in the previous hour's episode (long long ago) was that little Marie is a killer and probably a terrorist in league with Sayed Ali. Ah the amazing plot twists this show turns out hour by hour!

Wed, 15 Jan 2003 02:52:48 GMT

Wow, B-I-G SURPRISE ending this hour -- innocent little Marie Warner is a killer. And possibly... a terrorist?